The Case of Famous Jameis

Athletes and high profile people can’t do many things in their lives like normal people can.  They can’t go out to the mall without getting mobbed for photos; they can’t save money by buying economy plane tickets because some chatty Cathy will sit next to them and talk their ear off like in the Aaron Rodgers “discount double check commercial.” 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2G5DfGA5VY

Recently celeb sucking fame seekers have ruined another common area of pleasure for a-listers, the bedroom.  Currently we are dealing with the fall out of just such a case of rape claims.  Jameis Winston, the Florida State freshman quarterback who has taken the country by storm this year and is the front runner to win the Heisman Trophy, has been accused of raping a woman nine months ago. 

Now, normally rape cases should be taken very seriously, but there are some serious issues with this story.  She initially filed the report saying her attacker was between 5’9” and 5’11” tall, Winston is 6’4”.  Being a person of such height I find it highly inconceivable that someone could make that big of a mistake.  I mean if he looks like he’s 5’10” I don’t even want to think about how short girls must think I am when I go out. 

There are some very serious issues like the recent news that Winston’s DNA has been found on her underwear.  I mean normally that would lock up a case.  How can it not be rape if the man’s sperm is found on the inside of her panties?  (On a side note I’m curious to what exactly happened to her panties after the alleged rape happened to preserve his man juice so perfectly.) 

Winston has maintained that the sex he had with the woman was consensual.  When we consider the other cases that have occurred within the last couple years that stance may not be farfetched.  Two other high profile rape cases ended up being false accusations. 

Bernie Fine, the former assistant coach of the Syracuse Orange, was accused of repeatedly raping two ball boys.  He was promptly fired (which was probably smart by Syracuse).  Later on he was found to be innocent of these charges and counter sued the boys on the grounds of defamation and slander. 

http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2012/05/a_chronology_of_the_bernie_fin.html

Also everyone remembers the Duke lacrosse team fiasco.  If somehow you’ve forgotten a woman accused the whole team of rape, they ended up being punished, were acquitted of the charges and then she killed her boyfriend, classic case of crazy. 

That’s why over the last couple years these rape accusations have become a little more muddied than they have been in the past.

If the accusation of Winston turns out to be false and it costs him the Heisman, it’ll be a damn shame.  He has clearly earned it this far into the season, but with this hanging over his head many voters will be turned off from voting for him.

So I say down with the celeb sucking trash.  Let famous people be famous for being better than you and go about living your life.  If you need to get pregnant to get famous then do it the classy way, have eight children and beg VH1 to give you your own television show.  And that’s all I have to say about that.    

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/nov/24/duke-lacrosse-rape-guilty-murder-boyfriend

http://www.cnn.com/2013/11/22/justice/florida-state-university-quarterback-investigation/